My name is Michael Caine

Well actually it's Michael Cull - Micky to his mates - and a bona fide, diamond geezer with a Cockney sparkle in his eye and a line of London patter that would fit right in with Michael Caine, Bob Hoskins and Ray Winstone.
We met Micky when he was trying to moor up next to us at the bottom of Tardebigge and a fisherman was giving him "a right load of larynx". Micky's big tug ("71 and a half feet - I like to get me money's wurf!) wanted to get into a slot occupied by an angler with one of those gigantic carp rods who started f-ing and blinding at him. "I ain't talking to you if you're using language like that," said Micky but that didn't stop the ranting.
"I pay £28 f-ing pounds a year to fish here. Go and moor somewhere else." Finally, with all the boaters and all the occupants of the pub garden looking at him he gave up and settled back to his fishing, and Micky and his Missus moored.
"He ain't a proper angler sat on a mooring by a bridge. A proper angler walks into the middle of nowhere. If I see someone fishing by a bridge I don't bovver to slow down for them."
Anyway that's how we met Micky Cull, a larger than life Character. "I've been on boats 38 years," he told us. "I started on the river boats at Windsor when I was 13 - none of that nonsense abaht boatmasters then. I took the punters aht and gave 'em all the spiel too."
"We lived one boats and then I thought I'll 'ave a try at building one so I did; someone asked me to build them one so I did and carried on for abaht eight years. My mate come up with a slogan 'Get a quality 'ull from Michael Cull.' Nice eh?"
Micky's been there, done it, knows everyone and has a tale to tell about them. Trouble is that most of them aren't repeatable even in a blog. Look out for him and his big red and black tug. "It don't 'ave the name on it. There's no rule says you 'ave to and I don't want no anglers after me do I"